twenty four may

WALKING

At twelve, thirteen,
fourteen months,
when most children
begin to walk,
or make a show
of pulling their soft
wobbly bodies
to stand,

you were content
to sit and rub
the carpet, watch
the fibers grow fuzz
beneath hands
you didn’t seem to know
belonged to you.

A plump child you were,
with flesh-ringed legs
and arms,
at least three chins.

As you grew
stronger, my arms
did, too,
carrying you
room to room,
holding you
while you screamed
inconsolably,
and turned away
from others,

while you recoiled
at sights and sounds,
textures, certain clothes,
and any kind of shoe.

We didn’t know about autism,
not yet,
but I quickly learned
what brought you comfort.

When you were at peace
I could be, too.

I wonder
if you recall,
as I do,
when you were sixteen, eighteen,
twenty months
plopped on the grass,

making a study,
it seemed,
of the individual green blades,
your fat hands
brushing the tops of them
over and over,
your face some mix
of stern concentration
and happy fascination,

sweet reprieve from the screaming,
relief for my strong
but tired arms.

And still you grew,
and rebuffed
my attempts
to hold you up by the armpits,
sing walking songs
show you videos
of babies toddling happily
from toy to toy.

It was this,
the not walking,
that brought my questions
to doctors,
to Early Intervention,

that began the parade
of specialists and therapies
I never dreamed
would become our norm.

It was a blur in many ways,
that time,
but I recall when
you took your first,
tentative steps.

You were two
years two months,
finally ready
to trust your feet
against the hardness of the earth,

to step forward
into the blur of delight
and confusion
and newness
and noise.

–Melinda Coppola

August 12, 2019 / No Comments

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2 thoughts on “twenty four may”

Alexa says:

October 5, 2018 at 6:34 pm

Your beautiful singing/poetry enriches my life, is part of the amazing tapestry of my life like the Trees and the Sky and the Crows. Such a wonderful blessing at this profound bend of the river in this particular journey of life for me. So appreciative that l appreciate it. A companion that arrives without notice like dappled Light.
Thank You! I have such profound Love for You.

- Melinda says:
  
  October 7, 2018 at 5:17 pm
  
  THank you so much, Alexa. It means the world to know my words matter.

Melinda Coppola

twenty four may | from the inside out

twenty four may

WALKING

WALKING

Kind or Write?

Temporal Tryst

Perhaps his name is Three Dollar Bill

Hearing the Ocean in a Tea Cup ( again)

Pentimento

Tender

Hmmm. I thought I put me down right there

Dear Future Roadmaker

Inch by Inch

April is…

Our small eyes

To Sleep, Perchance to Wake and See the Stars

Love is a Rendering

Daisy Bell

There’s no write time

Dreamed some dreams

In praise of song

Receiving the darkness

Morning is mostly a prayer

2 thoughts on “twenty four may”

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