Pentimento
pentimento noun pen·ti·men·to | \ ˌpen-tə-ˈmen-(ˌ)tō Definition of pentimento A reappearance in a painting of an original drawn or painted element which was eventually painted over by the artist The canvas: my face in the mirror, fifty eight years familiar with this world. Five or six, roaming like the free-range child I was, I caught […]
Tender
Tender. Unless I am speaking of meat, which I mostly don’t, the very word owns its ness, as in, what is tender evokes tenderness, and what calls that forth in me is that which I am drawn towards, or s/he whom I draw close, or want to. Draw close,touch, be connected with, and to— it’s […]
Mothering Outside the Lines
The Bus Stop Moms From my morning window I would watch as they huddled casually, tossed light conversation back and forth, an occasional eye towards their kids who played and laughed together, finding sticks, tracing shapes and letters in the dirt. After the big yellow bus swallowed their chattering children, the moms would often stay […]
NAMED
Someone asked me What is your name? To name is to make known, to specify, enliven, color in, to make dimensional. My surname: Verdant. Given name, Green and Round. Given by me, to me. Green Round Verdant. Or is that what I long to be? My name is often She. She plus Who. She […]
Caregiver’s Lament
I’m on the couch, somewhere in between sitting and reclining. My right leg is extended out in front of me, clad in a cast to the knee and elevated on an ottoman with a large sofa cushion on top. My left foot is resting on a stool. This is a position I’ve spent most of […]
Inner Child Remembers
Before The Tax that adolescence imposes on body, mind, and spirit, probably in that order, there were hearty chunks of time that were some sort of unencumbered. Inner Child remembers discovering the fairies living well in tall flowers near the sandbox. How I loved to honor them, grabbing kid-sized chubby handfuls of sand and running […]
SORRY
A woman and her young daughter walked by me, heading opposite, on the narrow sidewalk outside the Y this morning. I’m sorry, Older She said in passing as women often do, and though my mouth was silent I wanted with all my heart to say Please don’t apologize for taking up space. If you want […]
On growing and knowing
The older I get the less I know. I woke with these words in my mouth, and they taste both new and true. My birthday has arrived and this one is significant somehow in a way no others have been. Fifty five, as in 55! The exclamation point is genuine, because I am rather mystified […]